Partial Credit. Please?

On the Same Cycle

Terrible Tattoo Pun

Abstain from getting pun tattoos; it's an absolutely abhorrent idea.

Don't Mess with the Soul Patch

Shortbread

A Frayed Knot

Thanks to Sean Christofferson for the idea.

Status Bot

Providing people with entertaining, meaningless statuses so they can spend their time doing more useful things.Complete with depressing song lyrics and trivial declarations about personal relationships and deeds! See if you can find a status to match your personality! And be sure to let me know if you come up with any really great ones.

Don't waste the prime years of your life coming up with facebook statuses. Though people may think you're witty or somewhat of an individualist in the short term (if that's the look you're going for), in the long run you will merely have whiled away a great portion of your time trying in vain to shape your online persona.

Sloppy Irene

One-Night-Stand

He doesn't really, he's just a womanizing jerk.

Grow a Pair

With all due apologies to Ke$ha.

Fountain Clock

Check it out at 11:59 for the best light show.

Most of What I Draw is a Fig Mint

... of my imagination.Although fig mints would be quite tasty, now that I think about it.

Attractive Women

Nursing Home Names

But seriously. That's really a depressing name.

http://www.sunriseseniorliving.com/

Consequences of Listening to Pandora

Salad Shake Weight!

This is my suggestion to the people who make Shake Weight. It's double-healthy: you put in the ingredients and the dressing, then work those biceps, and voila, your lunch is ready.

Most Music

Womanizer

Hot Mess

Puzzle Wrap: The Logic Game that has Everybody Poppin'

                                                         Click to start.

Logic, games, and bubble wrap, all combined into one sweet product. Could it get any better? Okay, I admit, it doesn't really look like bubble wrap; that's one thing that could be improved upon.

There are four levels right now-- let me know if you make it past the second. After that, it gets much trickier, and I don't think even I remember the solutions... have at it.

Crossword Punzle

Crossword Punzle, for lack of a better name.

Down the Left: Pot and Ken

Across the Top: Honey and Crack

English is Confusing

Brunch at Madame Poppin's Cafe

If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious. 

Danger Zone

Surprise

Can one really know about an impending surprise and still be surprised? It is questions like these that keep me up late at night philosophizing. In some ways, it is questions like these that keep us all up late at night. 

Oh, and how about those bean people? I think I finally found a style I like after bouncing between so many. One simple curve-circle-thingy, a couple dots, and a few sticks, and bingo, you've got your character. 

Making Life More Exciting

But seriously-- how awesome would that be? 

Prequels

In Some Ways...

Use this trick often. It will automatically make you appear 42 times more philosophical than you currently are.Your friends will subsequently become your disciples; you know, in some ways, we will all become your disciples.

A Scratch of Convenience

Modern Art

Chill

On a Date

NorCalculate

Traveling to Northern California any time soon? Use this handy tool to translate your ideas into NorCal speak.

Typical Nor Cal

Waiters

New Anchor

Placebo

Phony Friends

My phone broke. No, that's a lie: I broke my phone. It fell out of my pocket and down a flight of stairs.

Either way, my philosophical musings led me to the conclusion that if everyone banded together and decided to do this to me, I wouldn't be able to distinguish it from actual phone problems. Group brainwashing. I would like to try it on someone.

Lecture Row Selection

Falcon Punch!!!

Cinco de Mayo

Shoot. It was such a nice jar of mayonnaise too.

What is Love?

Another bull drawing.

Ink-ready-bull. Haha. Groan.

Abominable

4/20

Circular

Sake

Just Picking Up Some Chicks

Unis

Some time ago I posted a few graphics that were the results of a productive group brainstorm, a brainstorm centered on coming up with "Games for People with Low Self-Esteem and Who Need an Ego-Booster." This was one of the proposals we made:

Use the arrow keys to rotate the shape!

Unis: sometimes less is more.

Well, such an innovative gaming concept shouldn't be relegated to the annals of blogography. I hope that you all enjoy version 1.0 of "Unis: Tetris for People who Need a Self-Esteem Boost." You will notice that it is very hard to not lose, and I hope that in your moments of gloomy despair, this game will once more restore in you that sanguine, empowering feeling that you really are capable of doing at least one thing well. 

Corporate Transparency

Bunny suit

Columbus' Edge

“Those dummies think the world is flat!”

Cried out Columbus to his crew.

“But we are going to prove them wrong!”

His mates cheered, “Yipdeedoo!”

“For if the world were flat,” he said,

“The oceans would slide off,

And the blue vastness which we sail,

Would be an empty trough!

And if the earth was flat, you know,

My goal would be impossible.

But since I'm planning to be famous,

Failure is implausible.

We’ll rewrite history books!”

He laughed, crazed with excess mirth,

“THE EARTH IS ROUND!” he yelled as his ship

Sailed off the edge of the earth.

Spitting Game

This kind of spitting game will in fact not be of much help in helping you impress the ladies. Not even if you win-- believe me.

Urban Dictionary's definition of "spit game": 

4.	spit game
	to use charm in love, to get a women. He was spittin his game, but she still wasn't havin him

Transplant Rejection